Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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