i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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