Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
