I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
