nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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