Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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