I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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