Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
