we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
