I heard we made out
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i was born a porn star she said
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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