The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Your dad touched me again.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
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New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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