quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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