Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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