Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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