i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
