Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
