they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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