They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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