my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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