Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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