TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My butt remains clenched, sir.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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