Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
