omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
