i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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