Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize