fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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