bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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