Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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