i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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