Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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