Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
