omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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