Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
