Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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