You work out of a Hotel?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
