life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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