its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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