dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
