a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
