i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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