my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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