whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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