Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
