Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
