I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
