I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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