Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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