I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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