You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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