She's JV to your varsity
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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