THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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