i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
