ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
