Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
