hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
