just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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