We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
