Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
