Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
