I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
