The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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