first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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