Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
