went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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