I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize