hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
