My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
