ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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