can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
